Embarrassment Amnesties

Embarrassing episodes can be mortifying at the time but hilarious in hindsight.

Here are a few embarrassing things that really happened to me. Actually, one of them happened to my wife – bet you can’t guess which one?

1. Having my flies undone when giving an important speech.

2. Walking slap bang into a parking meter whilst checking out a beautiful woman on the opposite side of the road.

3. Turning up late to a really great mate’s wedding and sneaking in to the back of the church, hoping they might not notice.

4. Leaving a metal teaspoon in a food blender when making a pudding in the middle of a dinner party.

5. Getting home at the end of the day, looking in the mirror and seeing that I had had spinach stuck on my teeth all afternoon.

6. Turning up at a party with some weeds fashioned into a bunch of flowers and seeing everyone else’s amazingly generous present.

7. Falling asleep on the top deck of an all-night London bus and being woken up by the driver at the end of his shift 40 miles from where I lived .

8. Experiencing the shock of a colleague walking in on me on the toilet.

I invite you to submit your own…

Consider this a safe depositing place to tell all about your cringe-worthy embarrassing experiences. Feel lighter by unburdening yourself from the inner torment of their memories. For here, friends, you will be pardoned, set free, and embraced by a community of fellow bloggers who champion humour over all…


19 responses

  1. Too many to mention!

    I’ve bookmarked your blog and look forward to reading more. 🙂

  2. Introducing your brother-in-law but using the name of your first husband’s brother.
    ’nuff said.

    1. Holy crap, how embarrassing! Thanks for sharing!

  3. How about “catching your kid liking the top of the ketchup bottle in a restaurant.” Not that MY kid even did that. At least not to anyone’s knowledge… Except perhaps the nauseated waitress whom I gave the bottle to so she could put it in the biohazard bin… 😉

    1. A true ketchup catastrophe! Thanks for this funny comment and I’m really grateful for the re-blog. 🙂

  4. While in a laundromat I was wearing ear buds listening to rock music cranked up at cranium rattling volume…I had fast food for lunch and it was tearing it’s way through my digestive tract and exiting in the the form of gaseous vapors. It finally dawned on me, that while I was beginning to hear a slight rumbling, others who were not wearing ear buds and listening to rock music at ear splitting volume, might be hearing my emissions more clearly.

    When I looked up everyone was at the other end of the laundromat staring at me like I was an alien with three heads and a ray gun. I immediately took all my laundry out of the washers, dripping wet with soap suds, threw them in my basket and left.

    I bought a washer and dryer and although it has been over 30 years I’ve never been back to a laundromat…and I’ve cut way back on my fast food consumption.

    Be encouraged!

    1. This is too funny! Great description. I was practically right there in the laundromat with you, definitely down the other end with all the other sufferers. Bet there are plenty of other closet headphone-wearing guffers out there who have been in this situation too. Thanks for this great comment.

      1. stephenedwards425 | Reply

        Your welcome…but I got to admit it has taken me over 30 years to share the story…

        be encouraged!

        1. Never too late to share a laugh. 😉

          1. stephenedwards425 | Reply

            You are right…and occasionally I still pray I never see any of them again…hahaha.

            Be encouraged!

    1. Thanks, Carl. Good to make a connection with a fellow cartoonist. I’m looking forward to exploring your blog.

  5. all my embarrassing stuff is staying in my head… I WILL NOT BROADCAST IT ALL OVER THE DAMN INTERNET!!! 😉 Ok, I know which one happened to your wife… Its defn: “Walking slap bang into a parking meter whilst checking out a beautiful woman on the opposite side of the road”. OR maybe it was “Experiencing the shock of who I think was the Headmaster’s wife walking in on me doing a Number 2 on the toilet”. OR maybe it was “Having my flies undone when giving an important speech to 150 parents”. Its defn “Experiencing the shock of who I think was the Headmaster’s wife walking in on me doing a Number 2 on the toilet” because what on earth was the Headmaster’s wife doing in the men’s washroom? Or were you using the ladies washroom?

    1. Fair shout! Nice to hear from you. It was the teaspoon incident that my wife is guilty of!

  6. Whist at a party, I tried to use a chopstick to open a wine bottle only to have it explode everywhere, decorating the kitchen and myself and the people around me nicely in Sauvignon Blanc. The good news? Lucky it wasn’t red!

    1. Great contribution! Anything to get at the booze!

  7. Saying to a host I prefer a hock to this Moselle, when in fact I was drinking his hock….

    1. Oh crikey, bet you had to drink yourself out of that hole!

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